A Freak In Japan

Mama, I'm coming home to Turkey

2006-03-07T23:18:00.000Z

Scientists have discovered a family that walks on all fours – millions of years after its ancestors stood up and walked on two legs.
Evolutionary psychologist Professor Nicholas Humphrey, one of the scientists leading the research into the family, said: "This could be hugely important – a living example of how our ancestors walked before they became bipedal.
"As such, it might teach us so much about our distant past."
The family is very poor, has had little medical help and lives in a small village in Turkey. The parents, who are closely related, have had 19 children.
Most were normal, but six were born with what looks like brain damage. Five of these, aged between 18 and 34, walk quadrupedally. Family members are treated as outcasts by many of the villagers.
The BBC was given exclusive access to the family and is to tell the extraordinary story in a documentary film to be broadcast this month.
The documentary features interviews with scientists from across the world, and their response has been mixed – the only thing they do agree on is that this is not a hoax.
American paleanthropologists think that the family's skeletons could hold vital clues about the origin of man. A Turkish neurophysiologist believes that they are wholesale genetic throwbacks – a living 'missing link'.
But UK researchers contend that no single faulty gene could produce the first human quadrupeds the modern world has seen.
Producer Jemima Harrison, of Passionate Productions, which made the film for the BBC, said: "The family raises profound questions about what it is to be human. They walk like animals and that's very disturbing at first. But we were also very moved by this family's tremendous warmth and humanity."
The Family That Walks On All Fours is on BBC2 on Friday, 17 March at 9pm.

Whacko Bead

2005-12-18T23:34:00.000Z

Heeeellooooooooo
Well it seems no-one has been commenting on my blog so I will have to pretend I am suicidal again so I get loads of attention. You all should feel really sorry for me, really you should. I will not however, tell you about all the nasty e-mails and letters I am sending all over the world because a sensible man walked away from a crazy loon.

Bye bye for now

2005-12-14T00:02:00.000Z

How many times have we all heard the 'bye bye, I'm not blogging anymore' posts? So tiresome. Well, lets all see how long this blogging fast will last for this time. I may even start a book on it. Roll up, roll up guys, how many hours will she go without blogging? Answers in a comment below please.

He's vicious, he's insightful, he's.....

2005-12-10T22:41:00.000Z

You rock, you also suck, but at the moment I'll stick with rock!

Some advice

2005-12-04T17:53:00.000Z

Life Does Not Appeal To Me Anymore
What is this thing called love that but destroys thespirit? To have loved so deeply and to have lost, andall because I was a defective human, I truly am sorryfor losing what was a gift, a true gift. How can Isurvive having found you and then lost you due to mystupidity. I bashed my head against the same walls youhave met in your past; I went crazy over my love foryou; I desired you so much that it killed us; it wasthis stupidity, this inane inability to be normal andin love, instead of madly in love, that has killed me.I try to survive by telling myself that you were adrifter and that I was just another experience on yourown road of life, and that you had no intention ofloving me forever, but then, even thoughI try to tell myself that you were not a good man forthe long run, I still cannot but help recall our veryclose moments together. Can you not remember them?Will you come back to me? Come and kiss me again,deeply and with all the love we once had for eachother. Will you come back to me and save me? Please.Please. You left a woman who loved you more than theworld. I could not see you leave my house; it wouldhave been too hard. That is why I told you to go. ButI didn't want you to go.Please come home to me.Please.
posted by AFishInJapan at 6:39 PM 0 comments

Some advice dear sister, e-mail someone who cares because they don't know what a freaky mental loser you are. WWW.SAMARITANS.ORG.UK

Living In the Past

2005-11-30T22:15:00.000Z

Whoa, we're half way there
Whoa, LIVING IN THE PAST

Or something like that.

I need some adventure

2005-11-29T18:02:00.000Z

You know what guys, I feel the need for some adventure. White water rapids? Extreme canoeing? Rock climbing? Nope, not for me. I know exactly what I want. I want to find a boat and join the crew. My ideal boat would be a good sterdy old one with character, maybe a ferro. Most importantly I would be looking for the owner to be inexperienced in sailing so I have to do all the work. She would be impetuous and bad tempered when I tried to teach her and selfish in all aspects of activiites, food and relaxation.

I envisage she would be on the verge of a nervous breakdown with psycotic episodes on a daily basis. Even better, I think she would need to be bipolar and in need of medication. That way, if she ran out whilst at sea, we could be assured some good entertainment. I imagine she would be really needy and cling to me at one point in the day, and threatening to throw me overboard the next moment.

Yes, what an adventure that would be. Could a sailor ever be so lucky to find such a person. If you did, how could you ever pass up the opportunity to spend close one on one time with them at sea? Yes, you'd have to be really crazy to pass that up folks. If you hav any suggestions where I may find such an adventure please feel free to tell me.

An Open letter [hic] to my ex

2005-11-23T08:47:00.000Z

I write to you, not for a response, [for your email is blocked and I do not wish to hear from you] but merely, should you read me, to ask you to think about why you left a woman who was your dream; if indeed your dream was to sail the Seven Seas with love and with your own guile and adventure. I cannot believe that we met and we disintergrated. That the interference of your family doomed us. For I was your dream. Our paths were the same. Same phone numbers. Same cats. Same mother/gf names/ same feelings within dreams/ same friend[contact Tom] and yet, wham bam, over. because of shit.I think you found and lost your soulmate. Really.Unless, that is, you were not serious about being a sailor. If, in fact, your current frolic with the sea, is merely a way to make yourself feel more interesting, more important.What do you really seek? To sail the seas? Really?Or are you trying to fill a void that your own mistakes created for yourself? Oh, how I wish I was low enough to welcome you back into my life, but you know something, it is I who is the real 'renegade', it is I who is true to the sea and to my idea of love. Look closely at yourself, my darling, you but hop aboard other's dreams. I was willing to have you share a dream. You forsook me over your parents. And I loved you.I loved you truly and I but want you to realise and know that you won't ever find another woman like me. Never. Unless you were a liar about your dreams. Which, I think, you are.You are no more a sailor, than I was meant to be a lifetime teacher.
Mxxxxxxxxx
Ja ne, my darling
M

An Important Announcement

2005-11-20T18:05:00.000Z

Something really exciting happened today. We're arranged a date next year to celebrate the passing of a wonderful old git. February 14th falls on a Tuesday next year, so to mark the 2 year anniversary of his passing we are going to all meet up at an uncles house in the countryside. When I say we, I am still waiting for an invite but I'm sure it's just lost in the post. Both uncles, aunts and all the cousins will be there to have a winter garden party, then at the time of his passing we are going to have a little dance in the area his ashes were scattered, well some of them anyway. One of my cousins used some of her cash recently gained (a couple of months ago I think) to get a kick ass dj set up. The party will be so much fun.

The only bad thing about this, well two bad things actually, are that I am not in the UK, so it will be a bit hard to go WHEN I get my invite, and also that my evil estranged half sister will be going with her family. I bet she's only going there because it's going to be a big party with loads of booze and food and she wants to share in the riches he left the family.

As a bonus, I have heard that the evil one will be meeting up with Felicity, my other sister and taking her along to get better aquainted with all the family. It will be so nice to evenually meet her and see that she looks nothing like me and is actually sane. Foo wee.

Theres something about Jim

2005-11-12T18:51:00.000Z

Theres something that keeps ringing a bell to me about Jim. I know that name and I feel there is a link somewhere with him in the family. I say Jim old chap, you didn't happen to have had an old aunt who liked to wear dirty old macs did you? Foo wee.

Upping the stakes

2005-11-12T18:41:00.000Z

It's time to rake in some more money. I have shares that I need to increase the value of. Now I am a lonely spinster I need to provide for my old age alone. If I advertise the companies I have shares in, maybe I can make a difference, I do have a lot of fans and admirers you know. If I ask nicely, maybe they will all go and purchase Christmas gifts and socks, slippers etc from one of my stores in order to influence popularity and share prices. Would you? Go on, have a look, you know you want to.

Jim's in the dog house

2005-11-11T20:44:00.000Z

Jim,That blog that you find so *funny* has given me nearly a year of distress. It is full of lies and vile accusations based on nothing but the insane ramblings of a woman who feels slighted for having missed out on benefiting from our grandfather's will; and for VERY good reasons.Having her putrid blog out there that continues to defame me and advertise MY property and lie about me is something that I am trying to stop with the blogging powers that be.For you to find it funny might suggest that you are bored.May I suggest you read her blog in the future and cease from coming here. She steals all my writings, as it is, so you will not be missing anything.Maria Homepage 11.12.05 - 5:39 am #

Ha ha ha, poor Jim. Sorry about that mate! I'll try not to amuse you in future. Strange how all the family find it funny and amusing except her, wonder why? Maybe the sense of humour in our family skipped her. Foo wee.

The penny drops

2005-11-11T08:56:00.000Z

"As my ex calls me crazy and the bitter estranged half-sister calls me crazy[although she hasn't been in my life since she was 8 years old], I've started to wonder if indeed I am a stark, raving loon. Is this why I'm still single? Na! The only reason I haven't met anybody is because I've kept myself hidden away in no-time-for-love land Japan. But could I still be as crazy as that fetid lump of half-my-genes makes out? Could I? Am I? It got me to thinking about how I grew up and well, I pretty much did it on my tod. Nobody told me about *life* or gave me cuddles or acted like they really loved me; not even my mother. Blah Blah Blah lots of self pity.....A deranged woman who destroys all she touches.Ja ne.

posted by Anchored at 11:32 AM

At last, the penny drops. Now all you have to do is stop blaming your insanity on other people and take some responsibility for your own actions. Foo weeeee.

I'm so accurate

2005-11-10T18:55:00.000Z

Over two and a half months ago I posted;

"When you leave you will get streams of e-mails some nice, some evil, but the best thing to do will be to ignore them. As you now know, attention matters, a lot. "

How right was I? In a recent post fish trap said;

"During that time I was all over the place and I sent a string of e-mails to that Italian bastard telling him how much I'd loved him, copy and pasting past declarations of love between us[and recipes for Italian meatballs], and yes, a few were bitchy ones saying that I was glad he'd left me coz I wasn't impressed with him telling mutual friends that I was 'lazy, had no conscience, was a typical crazy Western woman, and was a drunk'. It seems to be a thing that runs in his family to accuse outsiders of being 'drunks'. So anyway, during my suicidal phase I sent around 90% "Woe" to him and 10% "Fuck You!".I got a reply back from him today. He told me that it was 'his life and his choice to move on'[fair enough] and that my up and down up and down e-mails to him but proved that I was emotionally unstable[doh, it was called being dumped]"

Talk about on the money. I am just glad he responded in the way he did, sending her lots of replies would have only fueled what is turning into hatred for him because he has rejected her.

In a recent comment she said;

Oh, but I keep sending him emails because I think we made a big mistake ending this dream.I cannot stop loving him. I want him to come back to me. I am a fool. I am broken. I'm going to bed.Maria 11.07.05 - 10:29 pm #

I feel so sorry for this guy. He is going to have her round his neck like a heavy weight for the next few months because she can't accept rejection and move on. At least he can just delete the e-mails if he chooses. She may be saying it's all hunky dory now, but believe me folks, this is so not the end of misery, whining and suicidal thoughts. Cry wolf, cry wolf little girl.

Bum fluff

2005-11-10T00:46:00.000Z

In a recent post, an angered fish rants;

"Yes, she has actually convinced herself that she stands to gain from my demise. What a #$#t!"

Why of course dear lunatic. Someone sane in the family has to be there to take care of all your assets, and i don't mean your wrinkly hands.

Did y'all know that for years and years and years before the death of my grandfather, the evil half-sister and an evil uncle and aunt talked almost constantly about Grampy's will (not true)and how they thought I visited him and 'pretended' to love him just because I was after his money. That bit is true however, and is still thought across the whole family.

The fucking bastards, and I hope that that shit of an uncle reads my blog too because I still hate him for sending me that e-mail back in February ordering me to SHARE my inheritance with that bitch, the half-sister. I was away at the time at the temple in the snowy mountains of Takayama having slightly weird sex due to having quaffed copious amounts of sake at all the little sake havens in the machi, and when I woke up in the morning I had this e-mail waiting for me saying, 'SHARE or else! Out of respect for your mother[eh? she died donkeys years ago] we think you should give half your inheritance to the absent and totally estranged half sister."

Ha ha ha, bet that really pissed you off. Shame to ruin such a lovely holiday break too.

So yah, the evil uncle's encouragement to the evil half sister backfired on him coz she then put in a failed claim on the will which delayed the release of the money for 8 months.

Untrue. No claim was ever made on the estate. You were only made to think so. Check your facts.

Yes, I haven't said all I'd like to say to that bastard who calls himself 'family'.

I can vouch for the fact he does NOT call you family.

He's the guy who told my grandfather not to take me in when I was sick with cancer. He's the guy who said to Grampy, 'and I hope she cannot get the op done on the NHS and has to pay for it'

Too bloody right, I seconded that motion.

He didn't even like the half-sister; thought her a money grabber years ago when he realised that she only ever contacted him in the week before her birthday.

Partially true. I disliked him more than I think it possible for him to have disliked me, however, I didn't contact him before my birthday as I knew he was an arsehole that didn't want to know all of his family, only the ones that used him for his cash and house to stay in.

Gah! I loathe those people - sanctimonious, judgemental, bored gits.

We loathe you too.

I still haven't sent a letter to that awful uncle telling him just how ashamed I am to have him as family, and how his father would have been so disappointed in him.

I believe you have sent many nasty things in the post, one more really wouldn't be necessary as I'm sure he knows how unlucky he is that his sister happened to spawn a psycho little shit like you.

Give me strength!

2005-11-02T07:38:00.000Z

"Bye Bye For Now

My love for you was real. I hate you for leaving meover nothing. Nothing is what it was. A few glitches.You gave me no time to be myself without the stress ofbuying boats and your family around us. You gave me nochance to show the love that you fell in love with.I never lied to you.You lied to me.It is you who could not love."

How fucking melodramatic is that! How the hell can I be related to someone who is as bonkers as that? Mind you, to be fair mental health problems are not always easy to live with. I wish she'd get medication or something. Still, I still can't believe I'm related to that.

I have to say in Francesco's defense, he left because he saw the mental health problems and drink problems she had, not all the crap she keeps harping on about. He was just unlucky that he met a character on the net believed it, then found out it didn't exist. It was just my loony tune of a sister. Poor guy. Foo wee.

How much darling?

2005-10-30T15:33:00.000Z

5 for a hand job
10 for a nightclub blow job and...
a shags free cause I'm that desperate.

Second home sweet home

2005-10-29T22:17:00.000Z

As my wonderful sister lives in Slough now, it's nice to know I have a second home in the UK. One always likes to feel one has roots somewhere, and not having any close family or friends in the UK, I guess her cottage in Slough will be as close as I can get. Foo wee.

He's behind you

2005-10-29T17:56:00.000Z

It's a good job we're in pantomime season because the Fishy blog is fitting right in. We have the full cast list now, the poor hard done to cinderella with no family to love her and a love who has left her, the evil half sister who mocks her, the evil uncle who secretly plots her downfall, the evil aunt who has plotted against her all her life and is now relishing in her misery, the absent father, the deceased mother and grandfather who visit her in her dreams and encourage her in her trip round the world on a boat.

Baarrfffff, give me a brake. This is all so far from real life it's hilarious. The fish blog is like a badly written story waiting to be rescued, not to mention boring and repetitive. Please, get a life and stop talking about anchors, sails and fucking bread making! Foo wee.

Talk about up your own arse

2005-10-28T23:13:00.000Z

"Used to be a weekend smoker myself until the day that I found out I had a tumor. I gave up in a flash so quick you couldn't even see the flash. Made me feel ashamed for having put myself at known risk, coz we all know it ain't good for us. It's okay for thick bastards to smoke, they have a reason, being thick, but for us educated folks, well, we ain't got no excuse and well, I gave up. Just like that."

Have you ever heard the likes of that? Us educated folks? Thick bastards? I think someone is a little confused, but theres nothing new there. Who exactly are 'us educated folks' and who deemed her appointer of thick people?

We? Trying to create a bond with readers to make them think only the educated read her blog? That is such a telling paragraph, as it portrays how she views herself and others. She is above others simply because she went to University maybe, or because she works in education, even though she is not a qualified teacher? People are thick because they don't agree with her or do what she does? What a self important, judgmental condescending old bat she is. Foo wee.

Wooooa tiger

2005-10-28T18:12:00.000Z

It seems an onlookers comments can send me into a frenzy.

Come on you all know how the song goes,

If you're psychotically happy and you know it shake your hands, boom boom......

A sad sight

2005-10-28T08:09:00.000Z

I was looking at this photo of myself the other day when I realised how absolutely minging I am. I look starved! Just look at the Deidre Barlow lines around my neck!! I felt horror as I saw how skinny I am but that my nose has remained big and fat and my hair limp and greasy. No wonder I can't find anyone to love me. Even fucking Deidre Barlow can find someone to love her, maybe I need a better script writer. Foo wee.

I'm so depressed

2005-10-26T07:29:00.000Z

Depressed, bi-polar, I don't know. One minute I'm happy telling everyone I am over him and I will never speak of him again, the next I am sobbing and wanting to end my life again. Who would have thought that a man seeing my true personality and rejecting it would be so hard? I thought I had gone about it the right way. I spent weeks talking to him on the internet, so I had chance to paint my character really well and deeply into him. When we met it should have been easier to continue that character was it not for his bloody parents. This is all the fault of his parents, my misery is all their fault. I take absolutely no responsibility at all. Pass the prozac. Foo sobbing wee.

Heeeeellloooooo, nobodies listening!!

2005-10-24T13:20:00.000Z

"If I could, but this isn't America, I'd shoot myself in the head right now."

This is shouting out how desperate she is for attention. 'Nobody has commented on how depressed I am, so I must up the ante'. Sad cow. Foo wee.

Look at me everyone, I'm really depressed.

2005-10-24T13:14:00.000Z

"So, I think that to survive I must admit to my failure in life as a human. I must embrace the fact that I will never be loved because if somebody were to love me again then I'd only fuck up by being jealous if you looked at another woman, or sad if you didn't notice when I needed your love, or disappointed when you didn't experience the same feeling as I expected you to feel. See! I'm a shit person. God, how did he last so long with me? What kept him with me? I thought he loved me but I went too far and he left me. Hey, living life as a freak, as a person who is too nasty to ever really maintain any semblance of love from another, actually gives one a sense of being again. Instead of believing that I am the romantic person on the planet, the truest person to whomever I love, yeah, instead I will forge this new personality for myself - somebody who will always be alone. I'll get used to it now. Being alone. Forever. Because the truth of the matter is I failed in love with Francesco. He left me even though I tried so hard to make our dream come true - to the point that I got us a cruise-worthy boat. And he still left me. This makes me a shit person. It really does. I don't like myself. I will sleep long hours and work when I have to and just be robotic till I die. "

Well, I just wonder how long it will be before this post and the last are deleted from the honest blog? This is so obviously an attention seeking device. It's screaming "come on all my blogging friends, tell me how wonderful and couragous I am, and how he didn't deserve me anyway etc" Then everyone tells you that you are great and you delete the post apologising for making a fool of yourself again. Don't you ever feel like a hamster on a wheel you can't get off because your life and moods seem to go in a cycle that never breaks. Foo 'pity me' wee.

Self pity 4 U

2005-10-24T13:10:00.000Z

"So, if I gave all my love to one person and still I failed in keeping that person able to love me, then what kind of person does that make me?Am I about to start living the rest of my life under the realisation that I am not a good person and that I deserve all I get? Am I really so awful? My extended family, bar two cousins, don't like me but they haven't seen me properly since I was 24. My mother is dead. My father totally absent. I've lost two friends in the past due to my phobia with fork biting. But I tried so hard to show my good side with the first man that I had ever loved. I believed in him before we'd even met. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him because I truly loved him. But I failed. I must have failed for a reason. Many reasons. Even though I believed in us and started planning for our dream to sail around the world on our own boat, planning via the investing of money, the quitting of job, I still failed. I still wasn't doing it right and well, I sit here now and feel that it is time to admit to myself that I am not a good person and that I should start accepting that I can never be like others. How do you manage to keep your loves? How do you manage to not end up like me? A total human failure.If I accept that I am a shit then maybe if sunlight sometime shines, I can feel a little bit of happiness amidst the knowledge that I'm honest enough to admit that I'm a crap person.I must be the worst person in the world after Bush. "

I have to say, I couldn't agree more. You are indeed a shit. Foo wee.

Man, I get worse!

2005-10-21T19:48:00.000Z

Not only do I go out on the town and act like the village bike, but I hook up with a blogging fan that looks like a cross between Bob Geldof and Tom Selleck. Still, the Bob part of him may be weak enough to afford me some charity for a quick shag.

Take a close look at my photo, look at my aged hands. Not the hands of a worker, but the hands of an aging woman. A lonely aging woman. Also, look at the lack of cleavage. I think I should take some of my small £60 000 inheritance and invest in a boob job. Maybe I'd keep a man who didn't look like a gypsy king then. Ah, no, thats forgetting I have a personality problem, well, actually, I'm mad. Foo cuckoo wee.

Who are you... who who.. who who?

2005-10-08T19:00:00.000Z

So own up, who was the pen of this lovely e-mail I received back in May...

"I've known Maria for a couple of years and we are friends. I won't go into specifics about who I am, where I am, or what I am but I must admit I read your blog. I'm curious to know where this all stems from. There must be a ton of crap between you two for you to spend so much time on making this blog so...interesting. I hate to read your blog and because I am her friend but I find that I can't help myself because you obviously spend a fair amount of time in reading hers and sending it up (really well, I might add). You have something oddly fascinating about you. I'm curious. ? "

Move over Rosie and Jim

2005-10-08T18:09:00.000Z

I have decided that my future lies in barges. Canal barges. It makes perfect sense. I can spend a life on the water, avoid paying any income tax or council tax, I can make money teaching from on my barge and I won't have to communicate with other annoying human beings if I don't want to. I'm sure the rest of the local population would be pleased about that too. It also means if I get lucky I can do a black widow routine on them and bump them off overboard when I've had my wicked way with them. Saves the rejection further down the line and all that. What a top idea. I'm going to find loads of forums to go on about it, get some books and try to sound knowledgeable about something I know nothing about. Life is just peachy. Foo wee.

The worm turns

2005-10-05T10:03:00.000Z

It seems the worm has turned. The pumpkins may have escaped me, but I caught this image of trouble in paradise yesterday. It seems they have been lying low in the lanes while the aftermath of the great pumpkin escape passed over. They appear to have been rowing somewhat. It seems that 'she' wanted slits for eyes in the pumpkin for Halloween, and 'he' wanted round eyes. Talk about clash of the titans. Well, as nature intended, 'she' won and slits were made. I have informed the police of the whereabouts of the thieves and the location of the stolen pumpkins, with slits for eyes, but we will have to wait and see what happens. Criminals as elusive as these don't get easily caught you know! Foo wee.

In hot pursuit

2005-10-03T11:05:00.000Z

I chased them down the lane to try to get some justice done, I mean, even if you are old, stealing is stealing! It seems to me they do it for the thrill of the chase and the buzz of getting away with it, a bit like joy riding. Come on, what pensioner can say they stole pumpkins for necessity! Anyhow, I headed off down the lane, camera in hand ready to tackle them. The cheeky sods stopped, turned round, pulled the above face, gave me the finger, and headed off pumpkins in arms! I was so shocked and flabbergasted I stood still for about 5 minutes watching them waddle off into beyond.
They really have gone too far this time. I vow I will catch these local tealeaves, and I will bring them to justice one day, just you watch me. This is war now. Foo wee.

Caught them!

2005-10-03T10:59:00.000Z

My regular readers may well remember my encounter in the park with the cutlery thieves, well blow me down with a feather if I didn't catch them at it again! I was sauntering round my local garden centre when I spotted a suspicious looking couple out of the corner of my eye. I decided to have a look because I had a gut feeling it was them. I got my camera out so if they were stealing I could get evidence.
Well I saw them taking pumpkins from the shelves and making towards the emergency exit with them. I called out to them, and this is when I took my photo, they turned round and looked quite surprised to see me. I ran at them, intending to rugby tackle the slowest one, but bugger me if they didn't make a break for it! Before I could make any gain on them, they were out of the emergency exit and power walking up the lane. Foo wee.

My little lapdog Alex

2005-09-30T07:23:00.000Z

It is quite an amusement to me to be able to gather my followers into regular readers and brainwash them all into believing I am a fictional character. That fictional character, Maria, is a nice, quirky, happy go lucky kind of girl. She has a good sense of humour and is a little worried and vunerable about sailing. I produce this image in order to get things out of people. Maybe they will want to meet with me on my travels and I can get them to pay for meals and drinks and take advantage of their hospitality. Maybe they will offer to come and help me with my new flat in turkey, or maybe, just maybe they will kiss my ass all the time on my blog and make me feel worshiped. Ha ha ha, unsuspecting fools. I have to admit if I have a talent, it's pulling the wool over peoples eyes. Some eyes however are not fooled, and see through my aging act that they have seen time and time again. You can't win em all, but you sure can fool a lot of gullible suckers. Wonder if what Alex will give me if I'm nice to him.....

Liz the lacky

2005-09-29T12:51:00.000Z

I am just sitting here wondering what I did to be blessed with such a good friend as Liz. She is always finding me links to sites I might like, giving me invaluable advice and generally wedging herself up my arse. It's so nice to be able to live my life through the affirmations of people like Liz. What would I do without them? What would Liz do without me? I feel like a substitute for the kids she has brought up, now they have flown the nest. She can offer all of her worldly advice to me without fear of pushing me away.

I keep harping on about how I am an independant woman, seems odd I have to run every decision I make through my audience. Maybe I'm not so sure about myself after all.

A quick muse

2005-09-27T10:01:00.000Z

I've been having a muse about my anonymous poster. I think I may have to have a good rethink about my personality and behaviour. I have always maintained that I am a great person, but as soon as I get a negative comment on my blog, I jump to the conclusion that it is someone that knows me. Why is that? Is it because deep down I know the truth about myself but my conscience keeps it covered up from me? If someone dislikes me and I assume it MUST be someone that knows me, then surely that says that I know that I am an unpleasant person for people to have to experience. I wonder how many other people I have left littered across the globe that despise me? Foo wee.

Dear Anonymous

2005-09-27T07:04:00.000Z

Whoever the anonymous poster is in Fish faces blog, I LIKE YOUR STYLE. I'm sending you out a big virtual hi 5. Keep up the good work. Foo wee.

Two faced cow's udder

2005-09-26T22:22:00.000Z

I wonder why I can be so openly rude and nasty when commenting on someone elses site, that most of my fans don't visit, whereas I won't dare to do it on my site. Maybe it's because I don't want my real personality to seep through?

Some examples from www.scruuw.blogspot.com are

There's one thing about Finn. He ain't fat like his mother!Maria Homepage 09.26.05 - 3:06 pm #

Where's she gone? Running scared. Hey, Candi, you should see what she said about you on her son's blog. Imagine in the future when Thin learns how to read and he'll come across the vile language of his mother and think, dang, and she calls herself a mother!Maria Homepage 09.26.05 - 4:00 pm #

She's bonkers!Ooh! I don't deserve it! OOOH! My life will be so lacking without Thin in my life and his Fat Mom.Maria Homepage 09.26.05 - 5:58 pm #

Talk about 2 sides to a personality! Foo wee.

2005-09-26T21:52:00.000Z

You can be types of things, but inside you can be as crazy as a cuckoo on speed. You can be all those things in the picture, you can hide your real self from most people around you, but every so often, a little bit will slip out to those who are watching. Dang. They're watching. Foo wee.

I spy with my eagles eye, something beginning with F

2005-09-26T11:16:00.000Z

I'm keeping my eagle eye on Francesco's blog. I am so pissed off because he won't let me comment to respond on his site, however, if I harp on about it in my blog, people might cotton on to quite how bothered I still am about it. I try to make out I am getting on with life, but behind my masquerade, I am a broken woman who has no dream left.

Pippa the skippers revelation

2005-09-24T14:52:00.000Z

Pippa sent me this photo of her over today. It came as a pleasant surprise to me that Pippa the skipper actually used to be Phillip the errrm tranny. I was surprised at first by Pip's revelation but then considering the fact that Pippa is still pre-op, the obvious bonuses came to mind. I think Pippa and I will get on really well. I'm so pleased I've met Pippa, at last someone normal just like me to share my up's and downs and life at sea. Foo wee.

My crazy stalking sister

2005-09-24T08:30:00.000Z

This is my crazy stalking estranged half sister who has been littering my blog with comments I can't delete. I thought I would put her picture up to shock her and also to shame her into stopping her ridiculous actions. How can she live with herself spreading evil lies about me? I don't understand.
What I can't quite understand is why I have any pictures of her still. I still maintain I dislike this individual immensely as she is a greedy liar, but I don't know why I still hold onto the picture.
Ding, lightbulb moment. I just remembered. It's so that when I snuff it, they can more easily identify the recipient of my estate. Dang, how could I of forgotten that. Foo wee.

2005-09-21T23:16:00.000Z

Hoorah! At long last I feel the nightmare is beginning to come to an end. I can exclusively reveal I have found my female saviour. She is a female skipper called Pippa and she is currently in negations with me about skippering my boat in March. She is absolutely fabulous. She has been a skipper for about 36 years, so well experienced in all waters. We have been e-mailing for a few days now and I feel we have a deep connection already. We have really bonded and I feel she will be great for me and my wonderful boat Abigpileof Crap. She sent me a picture only last night actually and she is not quite what I expected, but none the less, her credentials are great. She is about a size 22, has short cropped brown hair and a rather manly style of dress. I am so glad we will be sailing together, all girls together and all that jazz. Seems she hasn't had a boyfriend in years, so we'll be soulmates in that department I can assure you. She seems so keen I can't tell you. Particularly on seeing pictures of me and the sleeping quarters. I've assured her comfort, so I can only hope she comes on board with me, to make my dreams come true. Foo wee, and 3 cheers for Pippa the skipper.

2005-09-18T22:17:00.000Z

Poor Bob represents the swing of my moods when I get to 'danger bitch' staus. That is when all the hate, bile and venom comes out directed to those who are close to me. The opposite end would be when I am loved up and willing to do any household duties for my man like cooking his breakfast to perfection, or showering people with my fantastic generous personality. Even if I had been dumped, I would allow him to stay on in the house and wish him well. This is just prior to declaring that I hate him and want him and all his smuggness out of my house. The bits inbetween are a range of these two emotions jumbled up. You see I am a very confused and emotionally challenged person who cannot help but swing from one direction to the other with my emotions. What a shame it's always those closest to me that feel the wrath of my problems. Foo wee.

Stop, stop, pleas stop!!!!

2005-09-18T16:27:00.000Z

Ok, take a moment to read this. It's so funny but pathetic, I can't quite believe it.

Woeful Wench
Why is this hurting so much? It's because I am a good person. A loving person. A sincere person. A trusting person. I'm bright. Passionate. A true adventuress in the making. I make people smile. I used to be a sad teen. I started to grow up in my 20's. I matured a mere year ago. I was so happy and proud of myself to finally feel good about me. About being me. And this man is walking away from a person who I would love to spend the rest of my life with myself! This is what I find hard to understand. The fact that I'm not your average chick. It's not as if we've just spent the past 7 months going out on dinner dates and getting to know each other's favourite aftershaves or perfumes or favourite colours or cocktails. No. We just spent 7 months talking about voyaging around the fucking world. That's not your average relationship.So fuck you for leaving me. I'm a dream come true for a true sailor who wants to combine adventure with true love, and you walked away from that.

Ok, so what kind person writes something like that? Correct, a mad one. I mean, just listen to it for Christs sake! 'I'm so great and wonderful and he's a wanker because he doesn't want me.' Puuuurrlease stop posting utter crap like this because after having a baby, too much laughing can make you wet yourself!. Foo wee.

2005-09-18T16:15:00.000Z

How long will it be before this post is deleted from www.afishinjapan.blogspot.com ? Books are now open, I'm betting less than 24 hours. Any more offers?
By the way, it's boring, whingey, self absorbed and full of lies so don't bother reading it all. Foo wee.

Disbelief and Anger
I think I understand. And then I don't understand. I think I'm over this love. And then I feel the love again. I don't want to feel the love. He doesn't feel the love. He lost the love, as the late British comedian,Henry Cooper would say, "Just like that!". Just like that. Like that. Puff! Another blogster who was also cruely dumped, hit the nail on the head with a jackhammer when she said that breaking up is exactly that. Breaking up. All the body and mind networking over 7 months is having to unravel itself from a person who is walking away as if his packaging and connection with another were made of wet tissue paper. When I fell in love, I used good quality steel to link myself to a person with whom I believed I would spend the rest of my life. I thought I'd found my soul mate. Silly me.The more time that passes between the awful summer with his parents and horror of horrors, me reclaiming the bill of sale, the more I think that this entire situation is a farce and is so very not worth breaking up over. Now, he will beg to differ and it is this difference of view that makes me wonder just how deeply this fellow actually loved me. I really did give my all. My entire self to this relationship. There wasn't one part of me that doubted our future. But looking back, I am able to see many moments of doubt in the mind of the man who I believed in. I also wonder if he might actually have been a bit surprised that we did get a boat and well, it wasn't really what he wanted. Maybe he fancied a bit of a fling with me, things moved fast, he certainly needed a place to move to when Namibia fell apart and well, things moved way too fast and bang wham boodely doo, we get a boat. Oh fuck, he thinks, I'll have to commit myself to this woman now. Yes, I really wonder if he was ready for this relationship and for real love. In one of his first e-mails to me he lambasted me for not knowing what real love is like. He'd been broken many times before by women, and not for want of trying on his behalf. Well, I gave him no cause to doubt my love for him. Even during the summer vacation from hell, it was very obvious that I loved him to death. Women don't get emotional and swim out in stinky shrimp skanky water for a bloke they merely fancy.So, yeah, I wonder about this man who still calls me 'darling' and who occassionally touches me tenderly or holds my hand, even though he is leaving me. I wonder about how much he really loved me and if indeed he can ever love truly. He acts like an android with no feelings when it comes to remembering the good times we had.He only sees the summer when we did have a choice to say no to his parents. We did have a choice. I don't care how old his father is, they should have waited till April. Their coming onboard at the beginning of this dream destroyed us. Destroyed us. And it was a dream. Do you realise just how full-on the relationship had been from day one. Two strangers meeting. Living together the first day they met. Finding a boat together. I can tell you all now that I needed a summer vacation. I needed time alone with this man who I loved so deeply. Time alone on the boat. It wasn't as if we hadn't seen his parents recently. We spent the spring vacation with them and he was back off home at the end of November for about 6 weeks.So, I am suffering still. With him in my house he serves up a daily reminder of the good times. I have to begin to hate him. To see his bad points. He is fickle. He cannot forgive. He walks away when he should try to work things out.How can somebody find breaking up easy to do. He seems to be an expert at it. He has certainly exaggerated things about me. I now wonder if he did the same with the other women who he left. I feel anger again. Anger at possibly giving too much of myself to a man who didn't really care for a future afterall.Before he moved to Japan, he wrote things like, 'Oh, I feel as if we are already married'. My heart jumped. Then he arrived in Japan and asked me to marry him whilst we were in the supermarket. It was a joke. But still my heart jumped. We then had an awakening time down on the boat in Kobe when I found out that he didn't intend to ever marry me. I was so shocked. I stared at him across the opened out chart table, a hot nabe steaming between us, and I asked him how could he have joked and spoken of marriage before, knowing very well that I had fallen so deeply in love with him. To console me he said that he'd marry me when we got a boat. We got a boat. He didn't even speak of marriage. Upon standing for the first time upon the boat in Mexico, there wasn't even a hug of joy from him. I had to nudge him to figuratively carry me over the invisible threshold to this new and great life on the sea. I'm not saying that getting betrothed was my be all and end all, but if a man talks of marriage, then he must expect the woman to take it at least a little bit to heart.I really cannot see how he can leave me over such trifle things. Time heals the past. The summer was farcical. We should be able to laugh at it. But he seems to have lost his sense of humor and his ability to love.I hate him. He very nearly destroyed my soul.On a lighter note, the vegetables in the picture were free. Little old ladies leave their surplus fruits of the hatakes in front of the mini shrines in the 'hood. Sweet, huh.

2005-09-18T10:01:00.000Z

Please do not forgive me. I don't want you to. It would damn well spoil all my fun. Anyway, I know you don't mean it as you post something one second then the opposite the next. I think you suffer with multiple personality syndrome because it's just not normal. Not normal at all. Foo wee.

A poem by Gwendolyn Brooks entitled The Crazy Woman

2005-09-17T07:57:00.000Z

I shall not sing a May song.
A May song should be gay.
I'll wait until November
And sing a song of gray.

I'll wait until November
That is the time for me.
I'll go out in the frosty dark
And sing most terribly.

And all the little people
Will stare at me and say,
"That is the Crazy Woman
Who would not sing in May."

I am a crazy woman

2005-09-17T07:49:00.000Z

I have moods swings which go from ecstatic about my future to being on the point of suicide. I'm sure this has a medical name!

One of the parts of being crazy or mad whatever you want to call it, is that it is not normally recognised by the person who is crazy. They listen to why people think they are mad, but they are so self absorbed and well...mad, that they can't understand. To everyone else it is really obvious, but to that person, they just will never see it. If many people who know you say you are crazy I suppose you start to think they are all out to blacken your name as you know you're not, but if so many people say something like that, theres got to be some reason why. Being crazy is crap. Foo wee.

2005-09-16T18:44:00.000Z

Well my big plans fell through, all my big talk came to nothing. I couldn't arsed to go out into the city so I stayed local and got hammered as usual. Now I feel miserable again and I hate him, and I want him out of my house damn it! You see when I drink I get mood swings like you wouldn't believe, like a giant slow moving pendulum. For gods sake why won't the fucker move out without his money???? It's only $20 000 for sake's sake!

2005-09-16T18:36:00.000Z

Now I'm a singleton again I'm going to go into the city on my own for some fun fun fun. Translated for you, I'm going to latch onto people who look like they have money and get them to buy me drinks all night, in return I will flirt like crazy and maybe give one or more of them a blow job. Wish me luck. Foo wee.

2005-09-16T18:31:00.000Z

I'm so happy now, I don't need a man, I want to be my old self again. The happy highly witty old me. I wish him well with what ever he does, I don't care anymore. I won't carry on missing him and whining anymore, I will get on with my life, which by the way, will be better than his. Foo wee.

2005-09-16T18:29:00.000Z

I'm so sad, I can't get over the fact that he, that bastard, has left me for a few misunderstandings on our holiday! Oh when will this sadness ever go, i can't bear it. I love him with all my soul. Foo wee.

Running scared from the truth

2005-09-13T21:49:00.000Z

Sheesh! Make up your mind, first you ban me, then you don't then you do it again. Bit like everything in your life, here, gone, back again, fucked off.

Just can't hack the truth can you? You can't deal with me saying things you don't want to hear ie the truth. When Francesco has had enough and starts to reveal more truths about you, you'll be banning him next to hide the truth from your 'fans'. Foo wee.

You should be ashamed

2005-09-13T21:45:00.000Z

I have an alcohol problem. At 37 you would think I would know better, but apparently not. I still binge drink on a regular basis and have the mood swings to prove it. Foo wee.

My family tree

2005-09-11T21:17:00.000Z

Hi there...this is me. Mom said I got all the good looks and no brains. I love being a dude hound. Boys make spit roll down my chin. I have a stomach problem and fart a lot.

This is my mom. She has lots of boyfriends. One of them has a job. She says with a little luck I could be a garbage man one day.

This is my brother Hank. He is in jail right now. When he gets out he is not allowed to be around animals and kitchen appliances.

My grandmom lives with us in our trailer. She smells real bad. She likes to hang out in bars and drink beer. Grandma has sores all over and they leak yellow stuff on the furniture. The flies are terrible.

My mom says she is almost positive this is my dad. He lives in a Federal Penitentiary in Montana. When he gets out in 55 years we are going fishing.

My younger sister Jill lost all her teeth. She was licking an eggbeater after mom made a cake and my cousin Jimmy turned it on by accident.

We are proud of my older brother Barney. He is only 27 and all ready in the 4th grade. He wants to be a Doctor and can write his own name.

My half brother JimBob and his wife. She is a hottie. They raise Possum in their back yard. They are not allowed to have children.

This is my older sister Sue Ellen. She has 15 kids and they all look different. We depend on her welfare check to get by. She has a disease that makes her itch.

Jethro is my 1st cousin. He runs a tomato stand down by the highway. He once went 53 days without taking a bath.

This is Buck. He is my second cousin. He is pretty smart. Buck is going to be a dentist some day. He does all the work on our teeth.

This is my sisters boyfriend for now. His name is Garry. He fixes lawn mowers in the city. My sister says he has a hairy butt.

These are 2 kids we throw stuff at. There used to be 3 of them. Mom says we can't throw heavy stuff any more.

Jake holds the park record. He once jumped over 7 trailers. Jake crashed a lot and talks real slow now. His doctor told him to wear a helmet.

My uncle Marky is still having problems. He doesn't know what he wants in life anymore. He is a Vietnam War hero and now sells perfume at a department store.

This is my stepbrother Phil. He had a hunting accident years ago. The bullet is lodged just over his right ear. It's hard to understand him sometimes and he always stinks like rotten cheese.

This is our cousin Wayne who lives in England.

2005-09-11T18:34:00.000Z

Sigh, I must go and tell all to Tonko tonight. I fear she will shed a tear for me. Tears of relief as she won't be losing one of her very best customers. If I was to leave with Francesco, her takings would plummet, so I guess she's going to breathe a sigh of relief that I will stay and drink myself through my sorrow. Foo, hic, wee.

2005-09-11T12:46:00.000Z

I have decided to analyze some of my previous posts and see where it has all gone wrong. Usually I find a way to wind people round my little finger with lies and manipulation, but I don't understand what has failed. Maybe there is something in the Italians that is immune to my mind bending. To help my vast readership and fans along with this I have written my thoughts in red.

NEWSFLASH
The relationship between F and myself is over.The boat is no longer mine. (It never was mine to start with) I borrowed 20k from Fs parents (I manipulated old people into giving me money and I hoped I would never have to pay it back). Borrowed. But they see it as being their boat now(they paid for it, so it is theirs) So I am now in a cheap hostel (which kind of suits me). Alone in Mexico (this is solely my own fault for acting like a schizo). My dream to sail around the world on Grey Dawn is over. All that effort over the past few months. All the saving I did for the two of us to make this dream come true (trying to make him feel obliged to come back to me here). All those frigging meatballs (seems I would do anything to keep a man). The flights to Italy (anyone would have thought from this I wasn't grateful for his family accommodating me and their hospitality, not to mention all the free food and drink... of yeah and the ring), Mexico and Mexico again (for the boat that I and I alone masterminded of course). The drill and a hell of alot of other stuff that I bought for the boat (I always have to reclaim what is mine, even maybe even a few things that weren't mine...). Believing in him to make this dream come true when all his mother had ever done was think him only good enough for working in a post office (maybe this was an error, slagging off someones parents is never a good idea when trying to get back into their good books). A parasite on my effort to make this dream come true (again, referring to him as a parasite may not have been point winning).Fact. (Fiction) I made this dream come true. With my hardearned money (now hardearned may be pushing it a bit).Now a rich family have taken this away from me (hmmm, I have may brought this on myself actually rather than it being their fault because I acted like a lunatic). I believed in this (because I live in cuckoo land). Not his frigging mother (ooh, I insulted his mother again, I think I can see where I was going wrong now).Why did this happen (because I'm mad and they found out)?Well, I couldn{t stand being on a boat with his parents for my entire vacation so obviously I wasn{t a bundle of joy (understatement, I was a raving lunatic).I tried to kill myself twice but a} the fish gutting knife was too blunt and b} F caught me before I threw myself overboard (this wasn't really true, I tried to emotionally blackmail him with my cries for help, but that didn't seem to work either).I told F that we wouldn{t last if his parents came onboard at the beginning of this fucking dream (emotional blackmail again).I warned him. But no, emotional blackmail about his dad being old and wanting to share in his son{s dream and all that crap (maybe this wasn't crap, and it wasn't him doing the blackmailing, afterall, they did finance the boat and living with others on a boat for a while shouldn't have been that bad, how will I cope doing it with strangers in the future?)...and so I{m the wicked witch of the Far East again (again, yes there seems to be a pattern emerging here, get close to people, treat them like shit, they leave or cut contact, repeat process).Still, life goes on.Dang! Wish I could get an earlier flight back to Japan (I wouldn't have though because I had to fling myself at him a few more times). I will head up to LA tomorrow and get on standby for the first flight out. (this was written for effect so if he read it he would come chasing after me begging me not to go.) Well, here{s to a new life without my boat (never was MY boat, I kept forgetting that).Ja ne. (Foo wee)

So now I am starting to see what went wrong. Maybe slandering his family and accepting no responsibily had a smidgen to do with what happened. I will have to ponder this revelation. Foo wee.

Poor Orphan Annie

2005-09-11T12:41:00.000Z

Oh if only I had a family to run to right now. They could make feel all better and love me. Problem is, I turned on them when they tried to help me in the past. I stole from them and was really nasty about them. Guess that's why none of them want to know me now. Nevermind, I'll write them some viscous letters and e-mails, that should make me feel better. Foo wee.

Green eyed Bead

2005-09-11T11:01:00.000Z

The green eyed monster comes out again. I can't stand not knowing where my love is and when he goes away, I think I will go 100% insane, opposed to the 99% I am now. It will drive me over the edge. Who will he meet, what girls will be trying to chat him up on the e-mail???? I have lost control and I can't stand it. Foo wee.

I could use a little head...

2005-09-11T10:17:00.000Z

Well then orange sir, I may be just the person you are looking for to give them a little head. It helps me through my grief you see. Give me a call, and you never know maybe we could go sailing around the world together... I feel a deep connection with you. Foo wee.

My August Surprise

2005-09-10T22:11:00.000Z

I was pondering today about my August surprise. I didn't realise my evil sister had become clairvoyant and knew what was about to happen to change my life so drastically during the month of August. No wonder she's been so smug all this time about my relationship with Tosco, she knew all along that it was going to fail. Actually, I guess you wouldn't have to be clairvoyant to know that, you would just have to know me. Selfish, manipulative, scheming, sly people don't generally get on well with others. Foo wee.

I want a family

2005-09-10T22:03:00.000Z

Ah, sisters. If only I knew where my nice sister Felicity, I mean Joan is now. I'm sure my evil sister knows but is keeping it from me. I would get on with her better I would, she'd like me the best. I wonder if she owns much property or has a rich husband, may be worth thinking about now I have lost the ability to tap into the rich Italian family. Foo wee.

2005-09-10T21:30:00.000Z

Ok, so the real world didn't need my attention because in truth, in the real world I have no family, no friends well... no nothing really. This is why I am addicted to blogging. I get to write my life out in an edited way so I appear to be something I am not, and gain sympathy from gullible readers. It also gets me lots of attention which I simply can't live without, even if I must get it by boasting about giving blowjobs to strange men in London nightclubs whilst at my beloved Grampy's funeral. I'm a sick fuck really if you hadn't noticed. Foo wee.

Moronic announcement

2005-09-10T21:24:00.000Z

I have a moronic announcement. I'm taking some time off blogging. I'll give the REAL world my full attention. This is a half arsed attempt to prove to my beloved that he means more to me than my blog as he has stated in his blog. Bye blogging world. Foo wee.

Francesco, get it before you go!

2005-09-08T18:22:00.000Z

Just so as you know Francesco, she will be receiving her share of the inheritance money (over £60 000) within a couple of weeks, so don't let her fob you off with any lies about not having money. Make sure you get what is your families becausebelievee me, she'll not be falling over herself to give the money back to you! Be warned. Foo wee.

Bye bye Fish

2005-09-08T18:19:00.000Z

So the blog is gone. A victory for us normal people as you can't spew any more venom or lies, but how long will it last I wonder. Not long for a guess. She really can't live without having a huge fanbase and loyal readers, and also, I think she'll feel she is depriving people, so she couldn't possibly give up for the sake of a man. Foo wee.

2005-09-08T08:29:00.000Z

Will you all wake up and smell the coffee please? You have all decided I am a nasty crazy woman and that Maria is great, but in fact you have it backwards. Francesco has now seen the real person but yet the rest of you still choose to believe that people that know her in the flesh have no idea of her true character! How stupid is that!

She unfortunately has many bad habits which include getting drunk and arguing sometimes violently with people, sleeping around, writing reams upon reams of crappy letters absorbed in self pity, manipulation, thieving, making false claims against people including some claims made recently against my father, which also were untrue. He only wishes he had clouted her a few times, it might have knocked some sense into her thick skull.

All this self pity is really sickening and in her own words, it is always someone else's fault. Francesco's for inviting his parents to a boat they financed, or his parents for trying to involve her. Either way in her mind that all equates to a conspiracy against her. I am also glad Francesco noticed the alcohol and the effects it has on her. I am only sorry he has had to witness all of this first hand. As for her being a slapper, too bloody right F! Do you know that at her 'beloved' grandfathers funeral, she sat in the bar afterwards consuming copious amounts of alcohol and was virtually shouting about her sexual conquests and where and when she had given men blow jobs! The rest of the family were so ashamed, she was an absolute disgrace. But in her mind you see SHE was the ONLY one who loved him and all the other relatives had nothing but greed in their eyes when they went to the funeral, yeah right. They had to get into his house and remove valuable items before she got in there, because as you now know she will thieve what she believes she is entitled to have, even if she doesn't actually have any right to take said things. She is a complete head case and I just hope no woman (or man) is sucked in enough by her offer to crew the boat and to be tied to a boat with her at sea for weeks or months at a time. Just imagine! Foo wee.

2005-09-07T09:42:00.000Z

"My blog has always been about honesty blah blah blah"

So why do you write pathetic posts which you then delete. I'll tell ya, because you're a complete and total nutter. If that blog was a true reflection of you and your life you'd leave your posts there as a testament to your duel personality, but you don't. That's because you think you are fooling everyone in cyberspace into thinking you are a nice person and all of this is Francesco's fault. I think however, some numbskulls are finally starting to see through you. At long bloody last. Foo wee.

To Francesco

2005-09-07T07:06:00.000Z

I hope things do go well for you. I know you think I may have been a bit mean to you, but believe me, it was all directed at her, not you. When you leave you will get streams of e-mails some nice, some evil, but the best thing to do will be to ignore them. As you now know, attention matters, a lot.
You may not like me, but I above everyone else understand what is happening here. She WILL try to screw you out of the money, she WILL be lovely then vile and she WILL do underhanded things such as snatching papers. Now maybe you understand where I am coming from, and why I relish her misery after many years of suffering the same from her (and yes, she buttered over our past relationship too).

Don't blame the Americans

2005-09-06T21:06:00.000Z

In response to Fish Faces slagging off of americans and saying that they deserved there lives to be destroyed by a natural disaster (on YBW forums) because of the global warming issues, I would like to remind her that everyday americans don't make the laws. They have people to do that for them, like George Bush. Most americans didn't vote for him, so I guess it's not their fault afterall. What is deserved is that you are on your own and crying tears because Tosco had the good sense to leave you. You are trying to make it out that it is his fault for inviting his parents onto the boat...yeah right, thats the only issue here. GET REAL. It's you, plan and simple... just you. Anyway back to the point, here is an open letter to George Bush from Michael Moore. I suppose you think he deserved to have his life ruined as well, afterall, he is american.

Friday, September 2nd, 2005
Dear Mr. Bush:
Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane Katrina and thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be airlifted. Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers? Do you need help finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot. Man, was that a drag.
Also, any idea where all our national guard soldiers are? We could really use them right now for the type of thing they signed up to do like helping with national disasters. How come they weren't there to begin with?
Last Thursday I was in south Florida and sat outside while the eye of Hurricane Katrina passed over my head. It was only a Category 1 then but it was pretty nasty. Eleven people died and, as of today, there were still homes without power. That night the weatherman said this storm was on its way to New Orleans. That was Thursday! Did anybody tell you? I know you didn't want to interrupt your vacation and I know how you don't like to get bad news. Plus, you had fundraisers to go to and mothers of dead soldiers to ignore and smear. You sure showed her!
I especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying to Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business peeps. Don't let people criticize you for this -- after all, the hurricane was over and what the heck could you do, put your finger in the dike?
And don't listen to those who, in the coming days, will reveal how you specifically reduced the Army Corps of Engineers' budget for New Orleans this summer for the third year in a row. You just tell them that even if you hadn't cut the money to fix those levees, there weren't going to be any Army engineers to fix them anyway because you had a much more important construction job for them -- BUILDING DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ!
On Day 3, when you finally left your vacation home, I have to say I was moved by how you had your Air Force One pilot descend from the clouds as you flew over New Orleans so you could catch a quick look of the disaster. Hey, I know you couldn't stop and grab a bullhorn and stand on some rubble and act like a commander in chief. Been there done that.
There will be those who will try to politicize this tragedy and try to use it against you. Just have your people keep pointing that out. Respond to nothing. Even those pesky scientists who predicted this would happen because the water in the Gulf of Mexico is getting hotter and hotter making a storm like this inevitable. Ignore them and all their global warming Chicken Littles. There is nothing unusual about a hurricane that was so wide it would be like having one F-4 tornado that stretched from New York to Cleveland.
No, Mr. Bush, you just stay the course. It's not your fault that 30 percent of New Orleans lives in poverty or that tens of thousands had no transportation to get out of town. C'mon, they're black! I mean, it's not like this happened to Kennebunkport. Can you imagine leaving white people on their roofs for five days? Don't make me laugh! Race has nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with this!
You hang in there, Mr. Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army helicopters and send them there. Pretend the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are near Tikrit.
Yours,
Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
www.MichaelMoore.com
P.S. That annoying mother, Cindy Sheehan, is no longer at your ranch. She and dozens of other relatives of the Iraqi War dead are now driving across the country, stopping in many cities along the way. Maybe you can catch up with them before they get to DC on September 21st.

2005-09-06T18:10:00.000Z

I have a feeling I have been used. Used, abused and left alone. I think the only reason Tosco got back with me was so I'd pay the airfare back here. Boo hoo and foo bloody wee.

2005-09-06T18:01:00.000Z

I have been sent this picture from one of Tosco's friends. It seems they are all sad about the break up and will be helping him over his sadness. Foo wee.

Straight Jacket, An Ode to Fish Face

2005-09-06T10:27:00.000Z

You'll be helped one day, I'm sure of it. Foo wee.

She is a ...

2005-09-04T08:03:00.000Z

Fish face says
"I've just been looking at the holiday snaps. Some of them are quite stunning. It's such a shame that I was going stark, raving bonkers the entire time. Take out the frustration of being 4 on a boat, and the vacation would have been the best ever!! I've been trying to figure out if I was unnecessarily mad during the trip by asking the nicest amongst my friends, you know, the kinds of folks who are so fucking nice to everybody and anybody that it makes you sick, and well, even they said that they might not have had quite the time they'd have hoped for if put in the same situation. So I guess my inability to get with the pppppparty wasn't so unusual after all.
I really must send a letter of apology to F's mother for giving her the finger. I feel quite ashamed of myself for that action but really, I'd gone bonkers by that point. Absolutely, frigging bonkers."

I think that says it all really. I would like to add is that she is ALWAYS absolutely frigging bonkers, it's just that certain circumstances seem to bring it out in the open more. It's good that Tosco's parents have witnessed this in person, at least they have seen the real person beneath the facade. Oh and by the way fishy liar face, your middle name is not Louisa as stated on her blog it's Louise. Just because Tosco's mom has the name, doesn't mean you have to change yours to match. Anyhow, you're listed in 'the will' as Maria Hayreh, funny how your beloved grampy got your name wrong, or could it be you change your name along with your mood?

Don't let the monster come out! It's too evil.

2005-09-02T10:13:00.000Z

I have put this on for a special relative of mine who I feel seriously needs to seek therapy. You see, her facade seems to have slipped away and others have seen a peek of the monster that hides below. I think if she doesn't get help, the mask may melt away altogether. Soon, I am sure people will start to see that my comments are not delusional, but rather sadly, all too true. Foo wee.

She's at it again!

2005-08-29T18:59:00.000Z

You want to be careful fish face, you'll get done for slander you know.

Re: Whats your most useful sailing discovery this season?

Maria "Thank my ex boyfriend was a wanker who stole my boat and my dream."

I'd wager she was pissed when this was written as it doesn't even make sense. Writing nasty comments when drunk, how like your mother is that. Foo wee.

Oh dear

2005-08-29T18:42:00.000Z

I will bless some of the readers who don't frequent the yachting forums with some rather harsh words you may have been missing out on.

Maria - I am no longer the owner of the beautiful ferro boat in Mexico. What an end to a story that had so much potential. Gah! I knew it would end in grief with frigging parents of ex on damn boat at beginning of dream.
Oh well, at least I learned some things about sailing.
I{m now alone in Mexico.
Sigh!
Family money stinks."

There were many responses including one which referred to her growing up, but this had to be the best by Stingo, granted he seems like a twat, but this was hilarious non the less

"Francesco does not come with good references. He "worked" for a forumite and completed very few of his daily chores, but you cannot tell a lady that is in love that she loves a loser.

Perhaps is mother was right when she set his goals at being a postal worker."

Thats harsh, but she responds - It's a bit mean to bring up his Namibia experience. He worked hard over there and was a determined and committed additioin to Fifi's boat. Anyway, when I swam through the filth this morning to the boat, gross it was, and met F, he still thinks that I should have 'coped' with his parents and they basically think I am crazy. Maybe I am but they should give me a bit of space and understanding. Not everybody can 'cope' in such circumstances at what was the beginning of our dream. Oh, god, there's no point in my life now.

So they think you are crazy huh? Strange that, I wonder what could have given them that idea. Yet still the nameless and faceless people of the blogging world believe it is all Tosco's fault and she is completely innocent. It seems it will take you all a lifetime to see the truth. Wake up guys, she's a nutter! Foo wee.

Silly boy

2005-08-28T09:47:00.000Z

Oh Tosco, I thought you had more sense! Nevermind, the fact that you have made her stay in the 'scary' hotel is good, shows you're still in control. You'd better try to forgive her for all the awful things she wrote about you and your parents, then again, maybe you were lucky and missed them before they were deleted. Hopefully sense will find you soon. Foo wee.

My Two Faces

2005-08-27T17:42:00.000Z

As I have two faces, I thought I would share my nasty vile one with you again. I can act all sweetness and light but when the real me comes up, well, it can be very dangerous. I recently wrote a post on my blog then deleted it because I didn't want Tosco to see what i really thought. It went something like this...

NEWSFLASH
The relationship between F and myself is over.
The boat is no longer mine.
I borrowed 20k from Fs parents. Borrowed. But they see it as being their boat now.
So I am now in a cheap hostel. Alone in Mexico.
My dream to sail around the world on Grey Dawn is over. All that effort over the past few months. All the saving I did for the two of us to make this dream come true. All those frigging meatballs. The flights to Italy, Mexico and Mexico again. The drill and a hell of alot of other stuff that I bought for the boat. Believing in him to make this dream come true when all his mother had ever done was think him only good enough for working in a post office. A parasite on my effort to make this dream come true.
Fact. I made this dream come true. With my hardearned money.
Now a rich family have taken this away from me. I believed in this. Not his frigging mother.
Why did this happen?
Well, I couldn{t stand being on a boat with his parents for my entire vacation so obviously I wasn{t a bundle of joy.
I tried to kill myself twice but a} the fish gutting knife was too blunt and b} F caught me before I threw myself overboard.
I told F that we wouldn{t last if his parents came onboard at the beginning of this fucking dream.
I warned him. But no, emotional blackmail about his dad being old and wanting to share in his son{s dream and all that crap...and so I{m the wicked witch of the Far East again.
Still, life goes on.
Dang! Wish I could get an earlier flight back to Japan. I will head up to LA tomorrow and get on standby for the first flight out.
Well, here{s to a new life without my boat.
Ja ne.

Your predictable shit

2005-08-26T17:18:00.000Z

Ok, this is all very predictable.

Your true personality, which I have warned Tosco about, finally reveals itself. He has an argument with you. you behave very rudely and are vile to his family. He has enough of you. You leave after a huge row and theatrical performance. You then sulk. You slander and degrade his family and him, but then remove the evidence from your blog. You then decide he must have you back and you try to convince him you are nice really, that wasn't the real you. You make a big gesture hoping that will make him forget your other behaviour.

Oh, I can't be bothered to list the rest. It's so predictable. I even said this afternoon that you'd be like a pendulum with him, you love him you hate him. I just hope he has the sense not to take you back for his own sake.

If he does knock you back, and lets face it, he has what he really wanted, then the e-mails will start. First the pitiful longing to be with you type e-mails, then when you realise he won't have you back, they will turn into nasty and hateful e-mails. Only then will he see your true colours. I do hope he has some sense and gets away from you. Foo wee.

Go Darth

2005-08-26T07:11:00.000Z

So you're going to put the blame for all this onto someone else huh? Very expected I have to say. It couldn't have possibly been the fact that (apart from being quite mad) you are an arrogant shit? No, I guess it wouldn't. You have a real ability to alienate people and act in such a nasty way when people don't do your bidding I'm surprised it lasted so long on the boat. I feel sorry for Tosco and his parents, it couldn't have been easy to live with you seeing the real person come out. At least he had sense enough to engineer it in a way that meant he got to keep the boat. Well done Tosco, not so daft afterall. Foo wee.

2005-08-25T21:52:00.000Z

You failed suicide twice... really? I got excited for a minute thinking I may have been a step closer to my inheritance. However, not so exciting as i won't have a boat to inherit now. Well, I don't like to say I told you so... but I told you so! You wouldn't be able to last in a relationship with anyone other than yourself because you're too damn selfish. Yet another failure to add to the list. So aren't you going to dish the dirt then, what about the blazing rows, threats, screaming, tears and name calling that usually go along with your arguments?

2005-08-05T19:54:00.000Z

Happy Birthday to me, Happy BIrthday to me, Happy Birthday Dear Beee eaaasssttttt, Happy Birthday to me.

Lets set the record straight...

2005-08-03T09:56:00.000Z

Alright, alright, I'm saw wee. I would like to publicly and grandly apologise. I'm sorry, sorry sorry sorry damn it. I feel terrible for all the awful and terrible things I said and for misleading my flock of followers. I would like to set the record straight. I would like to publicly say that you should ignore all the crap I have written about my will. Of course I am leaving it all to my sister, who, although I can't admit it face to face, well I'm jealous of her. She stands to get it all, the money, the property and if Tosco agrees, she can have him as well. Sorry for any misleading statements I have may have made elsewhere. Foo wee.

Men in thongs

2005-08-03T09:50:00.000Z

It's just wrong. Thongs are for woman, and to quote a man that makes me laugh, they make men look like gayLORDS! Foo wee.

Why don't I have ANY friends?

2005-07-28T08:38:00.000Z

Because I pester them and badger them and behave like a raving lunatic. I expect everyone to tolerate my habits but I will not tolerate anyone elses. Because I am a selfish person and selfish people don't have real friends, just fake internet ones, or ones they can put an act on in front of. Foo wee.

2005-07-27T08:26:00.000Z

Had a good night out last night and had a reading with a medium. Had a little chat with mom and Gramps. He was very sorry and wanted to apologise for all that he let happan, but he just didn't know how to right the wrong. I was absolutely outraged when the medium described him as 'wet', but on reflection, I see her point. Mum ws her usual self, sobbed a lot and was sorry a lot too, but still the same underneath it all. No message to pass onto any others though funnily enough. Foo wee

2005-07-24T22:18:00.000Z

It seems that my online friends seem to an accumulation of losers who have only been able to find lurve on the net. Honestly, what kind of people have to rely on talking to a screen to get a date. They obviously can't function in the 'real' world and converse like normal people. I really can't imagine having to resort to such levels to get a lay. If I hadn't got Tosco I woudn't be looking for love on the... oh, erm, yes I think I'll go and do some tantric chanting now. Foo wee.

Screw it

2005-07-23T21:16:00.000Z

Oops, seems as though I've put my foot in it again. I keep going on about being an alcoholic, not realising that my jailbird best buddy Randi is an alcoholic. Whoopsy. Well you can join my club Randi, fancy a glass of Port? Foo wee.

2005-07-23T07:54:00.000Z

Apparently my estranged half wit evil half sister has a pair of binoculars belonging to my treasured and beloved dear dear grandfather. Someone saw her using them and sent me this image. He would be turning in his pot if he knew of such an act. Stealing things was never his forte, so I don't know where she got such habits, but I'm sure she be eternally damned for them. Foo wee.

2005-07-23T07:51:00.000Z

Sneaky little shit this one. No matter how you try and keep him out, he keeps on getting in and striking a blow. Foo wee.

Bastards

2005-07-23T07:44:00.000Z

Ransacked!! Completely ransacked!!

We've had a burgular in who has turned the place upside down. What kind of scumbag could go through peoples things and take them without a second thought?

Apparently, many eye witnesses saw a plump woman with pig tails sneaking out of the window dragging an oversized suitcase behind her. How dispicable, I ask you, pig tails in a grown woman. Foo bloody wee.

2005-07-19T22:11:00.000Z

Included in your 700 bucks a month (payable upfront by cheque or bank transfer) is the use of a digital camera to take wonderful photo's like this. Look forward to hearing from you on fishisfullofcrap@aol.com Foo wee.

2005-07-19T22:10:00.000Z

A whale I saw on a recent trip out on my boat. 700 bucks a week is really a knock down price for an opportunity like this. Please contact The Beast at fishisfullofcrap@aol.com Foo wee.

2005-07-19T22:08:00.000Z

Another business opportunity that will soon be coming up is a boating experience not to be missed. I can sail you around the bay showing you all the sights, including the whales, on my boat Grey Porn. A snip at 700 bucks a week. To book e-mail fishisfullofcrap@aol.com Foo wee.

2005-07-19T22:06:00.000Z

Another spectacular view from near my flat. To book contact fishisfullofcrap@aol.com Foo wee.

2005-07-19T22:05:00.000Z

This is the view from just above the flats. It's an opportunity not to be missed. Book early to avoid disapointment on fishisfullofcrap@aol.com Foo wee.

2005-07-19T22:04:00.000Z

This is the route back from the local bar. For any enquiries on renting the flat please e-mail fishisfullofcrap@aol.com

2005-07-19T22:03:00.000Z

This is the living area. I'm sure you'll agree that it is a snap at a mere $500 a week. Book on fishisfullofcrap@aol.com Foo wee.

2005-07-19T22:02:00.001Z

I would like to share a business opportunity with you all. Well, I say a business opportunity, it is for me, for you it's a holiday. I have a recently aquired property in South Africa that I am renting out. I would like to offer you the chance to rent it for a holiday at a knock down price. It's a snip at 500 bucks a month (you can pay me, The Beast by cheque or bank transfer, for details e-mail fishisfullofcrap@aol.com) Foo wee.